24.02.10 9.30pm

today went over to my mother house to pay her a visit. she told me that karen was telling her tat she is owing to the hdb abt 10k and she mentioned to her abt what i told her rgdg alvin's case..and i think she commented to mother that i m telling her these matter maybe indirectly wanted a loan from her knowingly that she had sold off her pte property. i told her i have no other intention but just to voice out so my chest wont be so heavy and furthermore his 2 good friends oredi helping him to pay off his debts. fortunately he had friends in need when he is having problem.
like my elder sis when mother mentioned to her that if moving house i like to have 2 crystal ball from the partition and she just shouted and reject the idea. i told mother not to worry as long as i am not selfish will do.. let them do wat they like lor..why other ppl siblings are very co-operative and why our sibling is so selfish and not co-operative..i told mother my character is to talk out and everyone can share and be happy as wat we are not to envy who is rich and who is poor. yeah i know my family member they really look down on me very much..they feel i am a burden to them only i just dont wan to interfere so much in each and every one affair. every one has their own family and wat is there to interfere abt.
the day i married out from the house i already tried my best not to trouble my family member..many things had to be settled by myself and end of the day making myself a blacksheep in the family.
jalan raya house was mortgaged 2 x for the sake of the eldest sister..in the end every thing was taken away by the bank..now she is complaining that she is contributing alot to the family but to my thinking and facts.. the house mortgage 2 x coming to abt 2 odd million and where the money goes..as far as i know their tptn company is doing quite well. but why landed to this plight. so now she work and contributed to the household i feel that it is a repayment and not to claim any credit.
i always tell mother no need to talk anything abt me or wat i said bcos end of the day all blame will start coming back to me.
when u are a black sheep forever u are a black sheep. no hard feelings abt my own life.
be happy to wat u are and not to follow wat u are not suppose to follow.

21.02.10 10.50pm

18.02.10 went to ttsh for follow up checkup and was glad that the next apptmt will be in 6 mths. met florence at the pahrmacy talking to our cousin sister elisia. while talking with them at the same told them that later afternoon my hubby also had his checkup, her fuckup attitude just snap off by passing remarks why my family is so unfortunate but i think i m lucky bcos she is more unlucky than me haveing a son with this kind of peanut allergy n hv to b very careful for the rest of his life if the allergy dont wear off. always remember do not comment on others where things may befall on you. well i m born to be look down upon by own siblings even though how hard to please them will also not appreciated. well arthiritis is another baby that i have to look after for life. change my life style will help to improve the sickness.
19.02.10 arlene and i have a good talk abt many things how to forgive and forget a person even they have done us wrong. we were also talking abt if i pass on where will be my ash been store and she also tells me that if i shd need anything from the other side must tell her in her dream so she will be able to prepare for me..hehehehe.
i am very happy that we spent time to talking abt nonsense or any other factors of things in life..and it is really wonderful.
20.02.10 alvin's off day and at least he went to pay a visit to his granny. later in the evening he and his family came over to have dinner and follow by mahjong session. but baby is not feeling well..having cough, running nose, and slight fever. i think this is part and parcel of growing up but seeing her coughing really very uncomfortable.
21.02.10 today chuhui and guowei call up to wish me happy new year after so many years anyway i m happy they call me at least they can remember.
i am grateful to my mother who deliver me to this world and let me have a new lease of life as what i am today married with three children and also a grandmother. overall i am very happy to have a close and understanding children and husband. so consider i am very lucky lah.
sign off for today.

Wed 03/02/2010 10.20pm

today's weather blazing hot. waited for ntuc delivery until 1.30pm. didnt check my mail the last 2 days and reply for meimei ntuc order rgdg out of stock against her invoice until my son got so fedup with me...i really getting more and more forgetful and i think i took too much medication and causes me to be forgetful gradually.
yesterday i ask my good son-in-law to hang up the curtain instead come jome with a heavy heart pour his anger at the dog. in the end the old man and the old lady had to finish the work.
finish my ironing, mopping the floor now going to take my shower. rest for the next day.