24.02.10 9.30pm

today went over to my mother house to pay her a visit. she told me that karen was telling her tat she is owing to the hdb abt 10k and she mentioned to her abt what i told her rgdg alvin's case..and i think she commented to mother that i m telling her these matter maybe indirectly wanted a loan from her knowingly that she had sold off her pte property. i told her i have no other intention but just to voice out so my chest wont be so heavy and furthermore his 2 good friends oredi helping him to pay off his debts. fortunately he had friends in need when he is having problem.
like my elder sis when mother mentioned to her that if moving house i like to have 2 crystal ball from the partition and she just shouted and reject the idea. i told mother not to worry as long as i am not selfish will do.. let them do wat they like lor..why other ppl siblings are very co-operative and why our sibling is so selfish and not co-operative..i told mother my character is to talk out and everyone can share and be happy as wat we are not to envy who is rich and who is poor. yeah i know my family member they really look down on me very much..they feel i am a burden to them only i just dont wan to interfere so much in each and every one affair. every one has their own family and wat is there to interfere abt.
the day i married out from the house i already tried my best not to trouble my family member..many things had to be settled by myself and end of the day making myself a blacksheep in the family.
jalan raya house was mortgaged 2 x for the sake of the eldest sister..in the end every thing was taken away by the bank..now she is complaining that she is contributing alot to the family but to my thinking and facts.. the house mortgage 2 x coming to abt 2 odd million and where the money goes..as far as i know their tptn company is doing quite well. but why landed to this plight. so now she work and contributed to the household i feel that it is a repayment and not to claim any credit.
i always tell mother no need to talk anything abt me or wat i said bcos end of the day all blame will start coming back to me.
when u are a black sheep forever u are a black sheep. no hard feelings abt my own life.
be happy to wat u are and not to follow wat u are not suppose to follow.